Halloween 2009 And My Narrow Escape From Butt Rapage

Wow so Halloween this year….yeah I’m a little late with this post but there is a good reason… 1. It took me forever to get the pics off my phone and 2. I’ve been busy brushing my moustache.

So the night before Halloween started with a midnight screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yeah I had no idea what to expect, but was told from several “credible” sources that as a Virgin to the show, I could expect to get butt raped or have to deep throat a night stick Big Bossman style.

 Neeldess to say I couldn’t wait.

Waiting in line outside the Music Box Theater, I’d never seen so many sexually repressed Mid-Westerners in my life. The number of guys in negligees and tighty whities was alarming and impressive. I felt like a young Drew Barrymore in the prime of her adolescent sexual deviance.  My bum was feeling worried by such aggressive prospects.

Inside things got even nuttier.  This girl's ass was grass.  Was I next?

I found the nearest tough guy and buddied up.  Odd Job seemed like a safe choice.

After that I was safe, my buddy Joe on the other hand was helpless to the charms of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, to tell you the truth I think he was less privy to the protocol of the situation than I.  Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the sexually charged/lost/confused Richie Tenenbaum.

A week later I discovered Joe never made it out of the theater, the janitors found him in the ushers closet the next day huddling a pile of cocaine that even Darryl Strawberry wouldn't scoff at.  I on the other hand, after escaping a night of butt rapage, was already getting pumped for the actual night of Halloween by the following afternoon.

I was some kind of rock and roll robot…again very underprepared for the holiday’s, so I had to buy a kid's costume at the dollar store.  Add in a little make-up and hair dye and I was ready to go…but not before I finished my chores.

I think the sexual exploration of the night before hadn’t quite worn off yet, as I was apparently still feeling a bit randy at the bar.  Don’t be fooled by the perkiness, these warlocks were definatley real.

Drinks were had, some guy’s i-phone was found, and passing out into a cheeseburger was inevitable. In the morning I was just another average Joe trying to make his way back home.